I didn't meet you in a bar?
by She's Spazztastic
Summary: I don't have a perfect summary. Roleplay between myself and NiRvAnAaDvAnCiNg95. Only, it was on Omegle, so we had no idea who each other were. Just doing this without permission. :D YOU'RE ALL WELCOME. Rated because of the conversation. I wouldn't let my brothers read this. That signifies it should be rated T. Enjoy.
1. This is gonna sound crazy

**_I DID NOT RECIEVE PERMISSION TO DO THIS. BUT HERE IS A ROLEPLAY, NO EDITING. NOTHING IS DONE TO THIS, OTHER THAN COPYING AND PASTING, CHANGING ONE WORD, FOUR QUOTATION MARKS, AND POSTING IT. FUCK YOU ALL, THIS IS WONDERFUL._**

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Sitting in a bar, Natalia felt quite at home. She downed the drink set in front of her, even though she had no idea what it was. It was times like this that she found herself quite lucky. Her high alcohol tolerance came in handy when she went out drinking. Especially when there were strange men buying her drinks. She'd almost grown accustomed to the whole not having to pay for any alcohol anymore. She stood from her stool, completely unphased by the large amount of toxins in her body, and walked calmly toward the restroom. Natalia always needed somewhere to cool off, drink a little water, balance her body out. It was helpful. Stepping out of the sterile white restroom, she found herself backing into the door to keep from bumping the figure ahead of her.

"Oh, sorry about that..." Alfred frowned, taking a step back. He looked down at her, smiling a little. "Hey, don't I know you?" A terrible pickup line... How nice.

Natalia was slightly surprised that, even in slight heels, she had to look up to see the full face of the man ahead of her. Her face flushed, slightly from the alcohol(despite her tolerance, a night of drinking gave her a slight buzz), slightly from embarrassment. "I should have looked before I walked into you. It's really my fault." She let her shoulders relax. The last time something like that had happened, she'd had just enough time to duck before the guy had tried to hit her. She raised a thin, pale brow. "I'm not sure, maybe your name would ring a bell if you did?"

"Does a 'Alfred Jones' ring a bell at all?" He smiled widely, his glasses a little farther down his nose than normal. "What's your name, It's a little fuzzy in my mind, but if I knew who you were, I'd probably remember as well~"

She shrugged, a slight motion not quite needed, due to the questioning arch of her brow. "Natalia Arlovskaya." Nothing offered but her name. Perhaps she did know this man from somewhere. Perhaps he was just a stranger flirting for the sake of flirting. Whatever the case, she tossed her blonde-white hair over her shoulder, then offered a hand in greeting.

He stood there almost blankly, a little confused. "Natalia...this is going to sound crazy, but I really do know you!" He grinned, taking her hand and shaking it. "We used to go to Gauken Highschool?"

Most likely, the only show that she was surprised was the slight widening of her eyes, but anything could have shown. "Well, then..." she trailed off, shaking his hand before dropping hers to her side. "Highschool, eh? You didn't, by chance, go to a party where a certain violet-eyed, freakishly tall guy got completely wasted despite the fact that his tolerance for the toxins in spirits is higher than mine?"

"Uhm..." He looked up at the ceiling before looking at her again. "Yeah...Ivan." He smiled. "Yeah, the dude knows how to party, by the way."

A smile interrupted her unemotional expression. "Yes, him. I know someone who got it on tape. Proof that he's not the wacko he'd like to think he is."

"...Really?" Alfred arched an eyebrow. "Well, that means that there's probably a shot of me running with nothing but my birthday suit on yelling 'Yolo'." He chuckled lightly. "Fun times..." He took a sip of his drink, nodding a little. "Fun times..."

Natalia nodded slowly. "I think I remember that happening. Right before the albino kid spewed the contents of his stomach all over the floor." She let out a cold laugh. "I still hate him. The floor is stained to this day."

"I bet, I mean...Arthur can't hold his booze for anything." Alfred noted. "I'm surprised he lasted that long."

What little emotion Natalia showed was growing a little. She allowed herself a real smile, not a tight-lipped half-smile. She shook her head, though it was half-joking. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. And you didn't keep him near a bathroom?"

"Francis was in the bathroom with a girl. Nobody wanted to go in there." Alfred said in all seriousness. "I think her name was Katy or something." Oops. Wrong move...

Natalia nodded. "Understandable. Is he still a man-whore?" Her words were completely honest. She wasn't trying to be mean to the poor pervert. It was just that he hit on every female he layed eyes on. "Might I ask why you know her name?"

"Because he had her panties until she hit him, then apologized, and ran off." He replied. "Francis got his way around..."

Another shrug. "Surprising. If I were in her situation, I'd have let him keep them. I wouldn't want to touch something after it'd been contaminated by him. He was creepy." She glanced upward, reading his expression, or trying to, at least. "That's... Nice... I think."

"...I'd rather not think about it..." Alfred nodded, jamming his hand in his pocket. "So, we're all graduated, what have you been up to?"

"Alright then." Mental note. No mentioning the creepy guy who had attempted to rape her sister. Easy enough. "Basically, by day, I'm a nurse. Night, I'm either here or tending to the needs of my sick sister."

"Ah..." He nodded. "I landed myself a job in comic art, beleive it or not. I think my sketches and stuff are terrible, but oh well. After studying in Italy, I think I'm just 'okay' now... I do real-life sketches on the side if anyone wants 'em, too." he added.

She chuckled. "Studying to draw in Italy is slightly pointless. It'd be more efficient to study to draw in Siberia. Unless realism is too much work. Then Tokyo is perfect." Rambling about art was something she hadn't done for several years. Not since she was turned down as a painter. Apparently, people didn't enjoy life-sized gory murals. "At least, that's my opinion.."

"I did a month in France and I couldn't handle it." He smiled arrogantly. "The women couldn't take their hands off me~" He joked. "It's not as bad as you think in Italy. They have their artists, and it's better than one-legged prostitutes asking you to draw them."

"Is that so? Because I wouldn't think the French would take so well to a cocky American." Straightening her stance, she spoke again, "I've been to Italy. Most of their art consists of flowers and naked women. Not something I enjoy." She ignored the last bit, not sure whether it was serious or not.

"And sportscars." He sniffed. "I didn't really take to the whole 'draw a woman' thing. None of 'em looked..." he tried to find the word, a little confused. "/Down to earth/ maybe? And don't be fooled, the French love Americans. They just...they show it well..." His voice cracked as he took another sip of his drink, looking away.

"Because sports cars even it out." She gave a wide-eyed nod, visibly disbelieving her own words. "Well, I understand that. No naked woman has breasts that perky." She grinned, her tone light and carefree. "The French love sex. If you're implying that Americans and French only get along by sex, there's a mental clinic down the street."

"...I know they don't but oh well..." He shrugged, looking down at the ground. "...Could I maybe draw you?"

Natalia reached out, placing the palm of her left hand to his shoulder. "Relax, blondie. I understand. Some people like things that other people don't. Personally, I think Italy is the least interesting place ever. Other people get a kick out of it." She pulled her hand back, once again straightening in a show of confidence. "That's not something someone like me hears every day. But if you'd like to, then sure."

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_**ENJOY, BECAUSE I'M GONNA POST MORE WHEN WE KEEP TALKING. SO FUCK YOU ALL. THIS IS WONDERFUL.  
R&R? ouo **_


	2. French?

_**lolwoot. Chapter two. :D This one is longer than the last one, including all the stuff I added in bold as, y'know, the publisher, asking questions. But before anything was added to this, it was 1,594 words long. Chapter one was a total of 1,413 words, which is including all that extra shit. Anywho, I love you all. Goodbye for now. **_

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Alfred felt like an idiot for asking to draw her, especially when he was thinking of that movie and all... "Um..." His cheeks flushed pink with an awkward smile. "I was thinking if I drew ya, you could keep the art. So, any particular style in mind? Pop Art, realist...French?" The last one was coughed and covered with a swig from the nearing-empty glass he held.

A small smile played on Natalia's lips at the reaction he gave to her simple answer. "I suppose I could keep it. 'Know, most artist only sell their work or keep it." She raised a brow, mock curiosity in the look she gave. "No, actually, no particular style in mind. The last time I saw a portrait of myself, it was quite Victorian-looking. That said, almost anything works.." A slight laugh, followed by an near-choke when she went to speak again. "That is, other than the last option you gave."

"Anything but French it is!" He said, voice cracking at the end. "I've got some pencils and my sketch folder in my car. You can sit or something while I go get it, kay?"

She nodded, only enough to show that it works. "Alright,then. I'll wait here, then." A wave was offered, and she returned to the stools in front of the bar.

He was back in a couple minutes, carrying a small flag-printed pouch full of pencils varying in softness and such. Under his arm was his sketch folder-a leather bound, paper filled one, too. It must have been expensive. "Alrighty, then..." He put his things down, sitting on his own stool. Pushing up his glasses he squinted a little. "Could you move a little this way...?" He pointed to the left, trying to get the given lighting right.

Upon his return, Natalia looked at the bag in a state of slight shock. That could only be the product of serious devotion to art. She raised a brow, motioning toward the objects. "Those look costly. You sure you're wanting to use 'em on such a nobody as me?" Nodding her acknowledgement, she scooted her stool slightly to one side. "Better?"

Alfred nodded, squinting a little. He then took her chin in his hand, adjusting the angle of her face. "You're not a nobody, really...You've got a really nice...well...face." He smiled a little, starting on the drawing. "You're worth-while to draw. Not many have delicate features like yourself."

Natalia chuckled. "Honestly, I do this every few days. I am the definition of a nobody. Hah. Thanks...?" A slight frown, and she shook her head. "Again, thanks. Delicate? I'm tougher than I look." She tried to keep a straight face, despite the fact that she felt as though her words deserved a joking pout.

"...I just need you to stay like that for a little bit, and afterwards, you can do any weirdo face that you were wanting to do while I'm drawing you...Okay?" He smiled, starting on the drawing with his pad on the bar.

Natalia nodded slightly, a simple show of acknowledgement. "Fine. Any face." She tried to sit still, despite the fact that she was restless sitting there. A calm half-glare, though it was half smile, as well. Years of practice earned that expression.

"...So, where are you originally from? I can't help but to notice you've got a bit of an accent there, hon..." He sketched along, looking up at her at almost unexpected intervals, smudging spots with his fingers, and running a putty eraser over other spots.

A slight shrug was probably what allowed her not to fidget as much as she could have. "Minsk, Belarus. Grew up there. Didn't come here too long before juniour high. That was about when I started learning English. I assume you're from around here? Same accent as the locals."

"Nah, we moved around a lot when I was a kid." Alfred sighed, his voice dipping into a low Soutern drawl. "But we mostly stayed South in aroun' Texas..." He finished with a smile. "Otherwise, I call New York my home."

"Oh.." Natalia suppressed the urge to move around, yet again. Since when could she not sit still at all? "America is still such a foreign place to me, even though I've been here for so many years. I feel like certain cities are better, though. More like the Belorussian cities."

"I think you'd like Maine, or some place like that. Chicago maybe." Alfred nodded. "I'm almost done, so just keep still for a little longer..."

Natalia chuckled, just slightly, though. "Honestly, I have no idea what those places are like." She let herself sit still, waiting as patiently as she could.

"Really?" Alfred asked. "Maybe me, you and a couple friends could go sometime..." He picked up his eraser, rubbing out a mistake. "Chicago's actually more of a two-person city, though."

"Really. Despite their glamour, those cities have never really called to me." Natalia shrugged, a slight heave of her pale shoulders. "That sounds like a nice idea. I think it could work."

"You moved again..." He said jokingly, taking out a fountain pen and making a signature at the bottom of the paper. "I'm done anyways, so here you go." Alfred handed over the sheet, smiling. "It's pretty alright, right?" It looked pretty good, actually. Nothing like the pop art that he used to draw during classes.

Natalia's eyes widened in mock horror. "Oh no. My fidgeting is definitely not my worst issue at the moment." She waved her hand around, gesturing at people before taking the sheet from him. "People were watching you, by the way." She took a moment to seriously look at the work. "Wow..."

"Eh, I don't mind. I could have been doing things other than drawing, mind you." He chuckled. "For example, I could have bought us a round of drinks instead, and then we'd probably- well I- would be drunker than a dog by now, doing bar karaoke with my brother over there." He pointed.

"Very well. I didn't have to sit here, being chastised for moving, but, of course, I chose to." She grinned, glancing over in the general direction he pointed. "That sounds entertaining. Although, you don't seem like the type to sing very amazingly, so I would have to pass on watching that one."

"Yeah, I'm pretty terrible at singing...Tone-deaf, actually." He chuckled. "What about you? You look like a person who can sing..."

"Figures. Not everyone can sing, of course." She shrugged, noticing she'd done so several times recently. "I've been told I sing well, but I disagree. To me, I sound bad. But, as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who am I to say that I don't sound well, if someone else thinks I do?"

"Very true." Alfred nodded. "But hey, to be told you can actually sing is a good thing, right? You may be able to sing, and I can play trumpet...Because Arthur kind of made me when we were younger." He added in a low tone.

"Indeed it is, a good thing. Either way, my opinion remains unchanged." Natalia chuckled, raising a brow. "Trumpet? That's...nice... I think..? Well, Yekaterina put me through piano lessons for awhile, if it's any consolation." It probably wasn't. Piano was common. And pretty.

"Gad, I could never play piano. Too many keys." He shook his head, putting his art things away. "I tried once, and I just couldn't."

"Huh. I always thought it was rather easy." She nodded, somewhat understanding. "I guess some people just aren't meant to play piano."

"Agreed..." He chuckled. "Could I possibly get you something to drink? I'm just being nice and all, so..." He trailed off, waiting for a response.

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_**Well, there it is, all finished and stuff. :D I have to say, this makes me feel like a better author than I actually am, because it's a roleplay, and those are always cool. Anywhore, hope you people enjoy this pointlessness. Ohshit. This is over two thousand words. What did we do RIGHT? **_

_**OH YEAH. **_

_**There's Belarusian to English in pieces to come, so.. Yeah. Well, byeaz. **_


	3. Dead sexy male model

**HELLO, PEASANTS. I'VE MISSED YOU. BUT I'VE BEEN WITHOUT A COMPUTER TO UPDATE WITH, SO I APOLOGIZE. I LOVE YOU ALL, THOUGH. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS, AND I LEAVE YOU WITH ANOTHER SLIGHT BORING CLIFF-HANGER, BUT ILU KBYE. /waves at all people, then flies to the bottom of the page.**

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Natalia nodded again, following it with words. "If you want to, I don't really mind. If it wouldn't kill ya, I think it'd be nice."

"I don't mean to be stupid, but what do girls like you even drink?" He quizzically arched an eyebrow. "For all I know, you and Katyushka could have drank vodka with Ivan and the polar bears." That was a lame joke, even for Alfred.

"There really are no 'girls like me,' considering the fact that Kat is sickly nowadays, and when I can't handle taking care of her, Ivan does it, and I hang out here. Normally, if I pay, I drink whatever is set in front of me. I'm just not picky when it comes to alcohol." Natalia gave a slight chuckle at the polar bear remark, shaking her head. "Čort, niama. Even if that could happen, it wouldn't."

"Ah...I see..." It was awkward to hear that for some reason or another. "Then I guess a little Coke n' Rum wouldn't bother you?" It was a little curious to actually wonder who came up with the whole 'Coke and Rum' deal. Maybe it was an idea hatched by Arthur and Alfred...or just Alfred.

"Coke n' Rum. That's great for calming someone down, y'know. It wouldn't bother me, not at all." Natalia nodded, though slightly unsure as to why.

"Two rum and coke, please?" He called to the bartender, smiling widely. "I try and ask girls if they want anything, and usually they come up with excuses."

Natalia let a small smile spread on her face, waiting patiently for the drinks he'd just asked the bartender for. "Pfff. Excuses are pointless. They should just tell you that they think you're hitting on them, and to go away. That'd be the honest truth, and I'm guessing that's what you get from them."

"Nah, they just say 'I'm pregnant' and hand their drink off to someone else." He sighed. "I get that one a lot. Along with 'my boyfriend's over there' or 'I'm with my girlfriend tonight'."

Natalia pursesd her lips, nodding. "Those aren't actually completely terrible. I've heard so much worse, just around. There's the old 'I don't drink,' thing that makes me laugh every time. It's over-played and stupid. No one believes it, no matter how sincere it sounds. The most fun you can have is getting a lesbian chick wasted to the point that she offers random guys lap dances. Rather entertaining, if I do say so myself." She grinned, thinking back on the last time she'd forced Ivan to actually go to the bar, when that had happened. Ivan had been so confused, and so DRUNK that night.

"Oh..." He blinked. The bartender put the two drinks on the bar, a cute little umbrella hanging out the side of Natalia's. "Well...Drink up, I guess." He smiled, taking a sip of his own."

Natalia nodded, not quite sure how that was taken, even if it was meant to be something found funny. "Thank you for this," she held up her drink before bringing it to her lips. She took two mouthfuls before setting it down again. This was something nice to have. Might as well savor it.

"It's not a problem, really." Alfred chuckled, looking at his drink. "It's kind of fun, really."

Natalia raised an eyebrow, shooting him a confused sideways glance. "Fun how, exactly?"

"You're different, in a good way." He said simply. "You're not the hot brunette trying to get a guy, nor are you the ditzy blonde who has no smarts." Alfred moved his glasses, smiling. "You're fun, cause I don't get to talk to pretty _and_ smart people."

Natalia took a moment, mulling this over in her head. "Thank you, then. Y'know, most of the people I've ever had offer to buy me a drink have been complete assholes looking for sex and nothing but." She widened her eyes in mock horror, holding up her glass and inspecting it for a moment. "This wasn't drugged, was it?!" A smile was offered, and she set her drink back where it was.

"Oh, ha ha ha..." He set his own down, mischievously wringing his hands and leaned closer. "Hee Hee, it absolutely is drugged, my pretty~" The face he was making was far from serious, but he couldn't help but to grin. "Nah, but it's fine. It went straight from the bar to you, so you don't need to worry."

Natalia laughed, the sound unpurposeful, and she slapped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide in embarrassment rather than the mock fear from before. "I saw that. And, I apologize for that hideous sound I just emitted. That was terrifying, wasn't it?"

"It was actually kind of nice." He nodded. "Very attractive. But mine... mine is terrible. I start to laugh too hard, and I snort like a pig."

She raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Are you completely sure of this? You don't have impaired judgment or thinking?" Maybe what she had said at one point in the past was still applicable now. Perhaps one thing she disliked about herself could be enjoyed by others.

"I'm not wasted, if that's what you're asking." He smiled. "Most laughs I've heard are pretty damn fake."

A shrug. "Yes, that's exactly what I was asking. Most of the time, that's the only stage in which my laughter is acceptable by people. My laugh can't be forced. Only earned."

"I guess I earned that one then." Alfred looked at the bar clock, it was only nine-thirty.

Natalia nodded, noting to keep her guard up just a little bit. "Guess so. So, other than being a trumpet-playing tone deaf artist who claims to have a horrible laugh, what have you turned into in these years since high school?"

Well, I'm past pranking and Tee-P'ing people's houses, so I think I've turned into a pretty mellow guy." He shifted in his seat, trying not to sit awkwardly. In reality, barstools can only be so comfy for so long. "...Then again, my thoughts are kind of biased."

Another shrug. "That's good. After high school, that kind of thing can get you arrested. After all, people start thinking you're some kind of weirdo, trying to be younger than you are. And it'd be defiling someone's property. I just realized how horrible people must think of the kids who do that." She chuckled, imagining how she'd react if someone TP'd her home now, versus when she'd helped people do it in high school. Yekaterina would probably get up off of her death bed just to kill the kids who'd done it, knowing her. "Really?" she asked, leaving the imaginary scenario behind. "Biased how?"

"I may think of myself as an amazing, dead sexy male model, but that's just what I think. It's more of an opinion thing, really." He chuckled. It was fake, sure...but ...

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**Čort, niama = hell no **

**HI**

**I'M HYPER. LEAVE PLENTIFUL REVIEWS, SO I CAN JUST BE LIKE  
NIGGATHAT'SHOWIROLLLLLLLL  
SORRY I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON BYE **


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